You learn to carry yourself high so that when you think you might fall for someone you can think again. Your heart and mind disagree constantly but it’s only because no one likes to be vulnerable. Beauty and truth in the making, but it’s burnt from the start. And once its burnt, how can it ever grow again? You tell yourself things to justify why you do the things you do. And why so many times you hurt the ones that whole heartedly in the end you love the most. You push away comfort and care because maybe it’s something you don’t think you deserve, but then again maybe it’s just what you want. To be alone. But when the time comes where you wish to love again, how can you get back what once felt so good? What once was yours for the taking? Because you drag that person heart through the mud and you scrape it up just enough to know you really got a hold on them. But the question really is, will the love they have for you be enough for them to come back? Because ones heart can only take so much abuse and ones mind can only claim stupidity so many times until they realize they can’t come back again. Walking away feels like betrayal and an ending. But is it really betrayal when they have you nothing to stay for? You start to let your thoughts control your whole day. They consume you like the ocean takes the sand at night. And I’m not really sure how to get out of this hole. I’m not really sure if ill ever really survive this one. But only time can tell and I never really understood that. Because with time comes more sadness to me. Because my heart decided to remember the good and turn the bad into my fault so you seem like perfection in my eyes. What have you done to me? I keep trying to figure out how I got here, but there are no recollections of that before I fell so tremendously deep in love. And I can’t take my heart back. But I remain the same, faithful in love with someone who will never come to love back.